Friday, January 29, 2010

Gavin McInnes is Fucking Hilarious

Gavin McInnes is fucking hilarious. His hypercritical fashion critiques had millions of terrorist scarf clad twentysomethings from Williamsburg and beyond riveted for years during his tenure as big kahuna at Vice Magazine. Now he has struck out on his own as one of the dudes behind, probably the most consistently entertaining website on the internet today. He has also produced, written, and acted in shitloads of mind-numbingly funny web videos. Here are three of my faves.

Those youtube videos kick ass.


Monday, January 25, 2010

Poor Grandma

Yes! I don't know what the fuck might be wrong with me, but this video is so awesome it makes me wanna cry.


Thursday, January 21, 2010

Booze Commercials of Yesteryear

Raise your hand if you love alcohol!
Ooh! Me! Me! I do!
I drink all day, most days. I begin any day I don't have to work with either a bloody mary or a mimosa (or variant thereof, pinosa being my current favorite) or both, and keep it blasting all day with cheap red wine or PBR. In fact, as I type this, I'm unable to edit because I've been drinking all day. And I'm loving life right now. Booze rules, and if you're an alcoholic like me you like to get down to your roots, see what boozehounds before you were enticed by before all those *hic* gay regulations on alkee-hol ads kicked in.
Fuck those ads. *hic* I mean, regulashinnnnns.... *hic*

Check out this hee-lariously racist advert for Schlitz Malt Liquor from the late 70's/early 80's. It watches like a minstrel show.

James Mason enjoys the "unusual" flavor of Thunderbird, it's "not quite like anything he's ever tasted." I second that Jimmy. I've never tasted piss, either.

Speaking of Thunderbird, this ad suggests a new way to enjoy your favorite bum wine. I personally think it sounds repugnant, but then again you'll never see me try it so I guess I'll never know.

Let's say it's the early 90's and you're in the business of brewing Malt Liquor. Who better to ask to promote your product than the greatest SoCal gangsta rapper of all time, Ice Cube?

"Get your girl in the mood quicker/ Get your jimmy thicker/ With St. Ides malt liquor". FUCKING GENIUS!!!



Monday, January 18, 2010

Will You Be Here Tomorrow?

Without a doubt, the most awesome safety video ever made.

I don't know what else to say about that.


Saturday, January 16, 2010

Prison Rape is Awesome

Someone who favorited a video that I made about prison rape also favorited this video. It seems odd that, even being someone who made a video making light of prison rape, would see this as being strange but I do, and here it is:
Prison marriage, actually. But his creepiness has trumped his intelligence. He's "so confused" about gay prison marriage. How is it possible that you are confused about this, sir? Have you ever seen Oz? We all know how gay prison marriage begins. You know, just dudes being dudes! Pumping iron, working on their bodies...and RAPING.

P.S. Fix that fucking lightbulb chain thing, or find a new place to shoot your crappy videos...
P.P.S. On a similar note, Jim Goad interviewed a guy named Donny ("the punk") in ANSWER Me #4. He was a guy who was raped in prison and loved it so much he got arrested on purpose to get sent back to the pen to get more RAPIN'! Great article, great zine. Try and find it, I promise you won't be disappointed.

That may or may not be a kickass youtube video.


Thursday, January 14, 2010

Grill Skills

I have been fortunate enough to have never, ever, ever in my life been forced to work at a fast food restaurant. I have, however, been forced to watch countless crazy training videos at a pet store I worked for, a call center, and the hotel I currently work at. All of them assume that you are a complete idiot and are generally retarded in every way, but none I've ever seen are as face meltingly psychedelic as this one. It takes a minute or two to get going, but once you see the singing beef patties, you will know it was all worth it.

Part 1:

Part 2:

Those Youtube Videos KICK ASS.


Wednesday, January 13, 2010

In Memory of Jay Reatard

They broke the mold when they made Jay. He will be missed.